Your Worst Critic

Who is it really? We all judge and, if we’re smart, we all know that others are judging us…judging our actions, behaviors, style/clothing, hairstyle, career, choice of friends, boyfriends, girlfriends, etc. But whose critique is it that we fear the most? And, is that the same person’s judgment/opinions we trust the most?

So, who judges us???

1. Our teachers: Throughout school, our teachers judge our intelligence based on our test scores, level of participation, etc. However, as we all know, a lot of kids don’t give 100% in school, which means we are being improperly judged and categorized based on school and test scores alone. While some of the opinions of our teachers may be accurate, I can’t help but think most of it is inconclusive as a) kids don’t always do their best b) sometimes students cheat on tests and therefore it is not their true intelligence being tested c) teachers will many times play favorites d) the home life of a child can greatly affect school attendance and product quality, etc.

2. Our friends (including significant others): We are judged and criticized by our friends as well. Sometimes it’s because we won’t succumb to certain peer pressures from our so-called friends and other times it’s because our true friends are really trying to help us stay on the right path. These are the opinions that we should carefully weigh before discarding or taking to heart.

3. Strangers: These are the people that judge a book by its cover –--meaning, they don’t even know us but take one look and pass judgment. I believe that we are all guilty of doing this to people at some point in our lives. But, really and truly, I think these are the critiques that count the least because, how can you accurately judge something or someone you know nothing about…

4. Our family: Most people spend a great deal of time with their family; parents, grandparents, siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins, etc. For some, these people can be your best friends, while for others, these people can be your worst critics – offering constant judgment, criticism, ridicule, etc. But there are some families out there that have the most supportive relatives – who offer constructive feedback, positive reinforcement, unconditional love and support, and who allow you to make your own choices free of constant judgment/ridicule but always full of helpful insight/advice.

So, who are your biggest supporters? Who offers meaningful and helpful advice? Who is always there to kick you when you’re down? Who tells you the trust even when it hurts? Who tells you what you want to hear, even with it’s detrimental to your well-being? Who provides unconditional love, support, and friendship? And who runs when the shit hits the fan?

I guess, in the end, the old saying rings true -- opinions are like assholes, everyone has one. So, we can take people’s comments with a grain of salt. Or, if it is someone we highly respect and admire, we can take it all in and do a bit of self reflection.