People on City Buses

So, like most residents of San Francisco, I use public transportation almost daily. And, being that I live in San Francisco, I know that the local residents can be quite strange, eccentric, weird, loud, and a plethora of other adjectives. That being said, I still think that people should adhere to a certain code of conduct when riding a public city bus. With just a few simple rules that we all follow, the ride and bus wait could be a much more pleasant experience. For instance:

1. When waiting for the bus, do not block the entire sidewalk. When you do and I need to walk by you, I will accidentally (on purpose) shove into you when passing.

2. Do not stand in the bus lane to look for the bus that is obviously approaching. It is annoying to see and most of us waiting at the stop with you are secretly wishing the bus would hit you -- no serious injury however.

3. Do not try to bulldoze your way past me to be first on the bus. If the bus stops in front of me, then let me get on. If you are old or handicapped, I will let you go first -- trust.

4. Do not talk on your cell phone unless it is absolutely necessary. I don't want to know any details of your life, especially when you are all the way in the back and I am sitting in the front and can still here the unimportant details of your day-to-day.

5. If you have body odor, wash your nasty ass before taking a public bus!

6. Do not stand so damn close to me when I am sitting down. There is no need. Back your ass up and stand in the aisle, not against me and my seat!

7. Do not, I repeat, do NOT clip your fingernails or toenails on the bus! It's nasty and so are you.

8. Please note that bus riders do their fair share of people watching. That being said, don't pick your nose of your ear or anything else. We are watching, taking note, and telling all of our friends, coworkers, etc. about you. We give a full description and have likely, very discretely, taken a photo of you and sent it to several other city bus riders. We now all know who you are.

9. Don't graffiti or litter. It is dumb and inconsiderate. And, trust me, no one thinks you're cool -- not even your so-called friends.

10. Don't ever try to spit game while riding a bus. It's just lame. Oh, and the girl will never give you her real number...NEVER!

Please try to get everyone you know to use and share these helpful tips!