Father's Day

I am 29 years old and have never truly celebrated a father’s day. Well, perhaps that is not entirely true. I have typically acknowledged the day by thanking my mother and grandmother for being the only parents that I have ever known. But, there has never been a male figure or role model whom I have celebrated on this day.

According to the dictionary, a father is a male parent, while a parent is defined as a guardian or protector. By this definition, I suppose I am fatherless which is something I came to terms with some time ago. My “father” has never protected me from anything nor has he ever provided guidance, mentorship, advice, or any means to ensure for my basic needs and survival.

So, I guess the question is: when is it really necessary to celebrate your parent -- in this instance, a father? It is my belief that a father is a man that would, at the very least, provide the following to/for their children:

1. Offering unconditional love and support. It is quite easy to say that you love someone. But a parent should show their children that they are loved by looking out for their well-being and trying their best to make sure that their child stays on the right path.

2. Providing the bare essentials, including a place to live, clothes, food, and a means to a good education. This is not to say that the father must pay for all of these things without the assistance of the mother, but a father should at least contribute and assist a mother who is trying to do all of these things on her own.

3. A father should be present for important milestones, such as first steps, birthdays, first day of school, school graduations, first dates, wedding, etc. A true parent would try to be present for each of these things or at least offer support and guidance via phone, e-mail, etc.

4. Understanding…your parent should know and understand their child. This knowledge and understanding will help seal the bond between parent and child. If you’re never around, then can you ever really know someone? And, if you don’t really know someone, then how can you love them?

So, my question for you is – can someone really be called a parent if they are unable to at least minimally provide the above? Should we really celebrate a father when they have never been a father? My opinion is that respect and titles (such as father, daddy, pops) are earned not just given as a matter of formality. For this reason, I do not observe father’s day.

What about you?